This information is for Catholics only.
The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
> AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
> BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
> CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to
> HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
> HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than
that of the congregation's range.
> RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
> INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
> JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges
with good basketball teams.
> JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.
> JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
> KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize
besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)
> MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
> MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered
by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always
> PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
> PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting
of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
> RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by
parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
> RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually
know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
> TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David
> USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating
capacity of a pew.
Dedicated to fellow Catholic and blogger friend, Kathleen!