Thursday, April 23, 2009

A little funny for your Thursday!

This information is for Catholics only.

The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.

> AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

> BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

> CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to

> HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

> HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than
that of the congregation's range.

> RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

> INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

> JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges
with good basketball teams.

> JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.

> JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

> KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize
besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

> MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

> MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered
by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always
been rough.)

> PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

> PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting
of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

> RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by
parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

> RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually
know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

> TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David

> USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating
capacity of a pew.

Dedicated to fellow Catholic and blogger friend, Kathleen!


  1. OMG Holly, I am laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face. So many of these are true. Especially the ones about singing in church, and trying to be the first one out of church. Oh yes, we Catholics know where we are coming from. I love these, and will have to share them with my friends (Catholic of course) Thank you so much for making me laugh. Good luck in the give-away, thanks for dropping by. Have a great evening! Big Hugs, Kathleen

  2. Hysterical & fun. TY for sharing this. Catholic, here, too. Chuckle. I would like to join your blog but don't know how to do that.

    Come join my Mother's Day contest, tell your friends about it.

    TTFN ~ Marydon

  3. Great post! I'm printing it out to show my mom.

  4. Those were all pretty funny. I liked "choir" and "justice" the best....